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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26637457">Ouroboros</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mary_West/pseuds/Mary_West'>Mary_West</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars Sequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abortion, Cheating, Contraceptive Failure, F/M, Inappropriate Humor, M/M, Pregnancy, Professor/Student Relationship, Rose is Amazing, Rose is a Clinic Escort, Slut Shaming, Soft Ben Solo, Unplanned Pregnancy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 08:26:42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,719</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26637457</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mary_West/pseuds/Mary_West</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Rey had a wonderful one-night stand with a cute guy called Ben. Yet despite taking precautions, she's pregnant. And she has decisions to make that will affect the rest of her life. </p><p>Based off themes from  the movie "Obvious Child".</p><p>TW: Abortion. Comments will be moderated. I believe in "Your uterus, your choice".</p><p>
  <i> Apologies - I hadn't put all the relationship tags before now. Can you believe no-one had used Enric Pryde/Rey (Star Wars) before now?</i>
</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Enric Pryde/Bazine Netal, Enric Pryde/Kaydel Ko Connix, Enric Pryde/Rey (Star Wars) (Past), Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>80</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rose came in towards the end of Rey's set, and lifted her glass in salute as Rey started into her last song. It was upbeat, as last songs should be, a celebration of having got through so much and just <em>being</em> here, alive and well and coping with life. Rey let her fingers go into autoplay over the chords, her muscle memory taking over as she sang.</p><p>
  <em>And I never asked for money,</em>
  <em><br/>
Or what I can't return<br/>
For I don't want a thing I cannot own,<br/>
I've made it here myself despite all you tried to do,<br/>
And what I've made has now become my home. </em>
</p><p>There was applause as she finished – not as much as some nights, but it was the summer holidays and a lot of people had gone home for the break. Lucky them. Rey packed her guitar away, closed the piano lid and walked down from the stage into her friend's arms.</p><p>"You ok, hon?" Rose pushed Rey's hair back from her forehead, and felt her skin. "You're looking a bit out of it."</p><p>"Yeah, not feeling the greatest. I'm so tired. Must be the summer weather."</p><p>"Definitely." They sat down, and Rose pushed across a large cranberry juice. "So …"</p><p>"So?"</p><p>"Have you seen the filthy son of a bitch?"</p><p>Rey leaned back and took a large sip. "I take it you mean that two-timing shit of an Enric who chose my birthday to tell me he'd split with his wife not to be with me, but to shack up with Bazine? After giving me excuses for <em>two months</em> and then telling me to meet him here after my gig?" Rey drank again. "Nope. But have you?"</p><p>"He's moved in with her."</p><p>"Bastard."</p><p>"You were well rid of that one."</p><p>"Yeah, but seriously." Rey waved her hand expansively over the table. "Shagging your top student for a year, telling her that you've got something special planned for her birthday, then dumping her in the changeroom of the club?"</p><p>"Yup."</p><p>"You're right. I'm well rid of him." She sipped again, then passed it over to Rose. "Does this taste a bit odd to you?"</p><p>"Off?" Rose sniffed the drink, then tasted it. "Seems ok to me."</p><p>"They might need to clean the pipes. It's got a metallic tang."</p><p>"I'm not getting it." Rose passed the glass back.</p><p>"I might be coming down with something again." Rey drank gingerly. "Two lots of stomach flu in three weeks is a bit much. I'm tired as all get-out, and I just can't seem to get my act together this week. "</p><p>"It <em>is</em> summer. No-one has their act together."</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p>"So, tell me."</p><p>"Tell you what?"</p><p>"Seen him again?"</p><p>"The ex?"</p><p>Rose laughed. "Crumbs, no. The guy from the other week."</p><p>"Who?" Rey tried to look innocent, but failed miserably as Rose punched her arm. "Oh, you mean Ben?"</p><p>"Yeah. Ben. Has he been in touch?"</p><p>Rey just looked at the table, and Rose leaned over.</p><p>"You <em>did</em> give him your number, didn't you?"</p><p>"Ummm…"</p><p>"Did you at least thank him for a lovely evening?"</p><p>"I … sort of … left before that." Rey's face was now the colour of her drink, and Rose punched her arm again.</p><p>"I left you chatting with him on that night, and then I ran into you when I went for coffee the next morning and you were staggering home with love-bites all over your neck. So don't tell me you didn't do anything."</p><p>"We did."</p><p>"And was he any good?" Rose cackled as Rey blushed again. "So why aren't you seeing more of him?"</p><p>"Because I don't remember his surname, or exactly where he lives, and because I woke up to see my underwear on his pillow and I was too embarrassed to face him, so I crept out, and I haven't seen him since."</p><p>"Shame. He seemed nice."</p><p>"He was." Rey finished her drink. "And he knows where I work – we talked about books – and he's a student at the Uni, so he's probably gone home for the holidays or something. If he turns up again, that'd be lovely, but it's not essential."</p><p>"At least he wasn't an axe murderer."</p><p>"Not this one, no. Now Enric …"</p><p>"Yeah, I can see him being an axe-murderer." Rose finished hers, and they linked arms as they headed out of <em>The Cantina </em>together.</p><p>They walked up the steps to their apartment block, and stopped outside Rey's door.</p><p>Rose hugged her hard. "Wanna come with me tomorrow? I need some new underwear, and that warehouse on 43<sup>rd</sup> is having a sale."</p><p>"That'd be a good idea. All mine are acting weird."</p><p>"All yours? Haven't you got, like, only two bras?"</p><p>"One to wear and one to wash. What's your problem?" Rey readjusted her breasts in their cups, cursing. "Probably could do with a couple more, I suppose. This one's getting stupidly uncomfortable."</p><p>"Well I only want two, but the warehouse is doing <em>Buy one Get one Free</em>, so let's."</p><p>"Bang on my door about ten?"</p><p>"Sounds good." The pair separated, Rey going into her studio apartment and Rose heading up to the two-bedroom she shared with her sister.</p><p>The next morning, Rose banged on the door, then listened for the sound of footsteps. She heard them cross the floor, halt – then bolt for the small bathroom that lay off Rey's living space. Two minutes later there was a flushing, and the front door opened. Rose came in as Rey staggered back to her bed and collapsed on it, hugging a pillow to herself.</p><p>"What's up, hon?"</p><p>"That bastard next door is cooking garlic."</p><p>"But you like garlic."</p><p>"Not at the moment I don't." Rey clutched the pillow tighter. "Maybe this is why I feel like shit. Food poisoning or something."</p><p>"What did you have to eat last night?"</p><p>"Burger and fries – the usual." Rey stopped, dropped the pillow and ran for the bathroom again. When she came out, she looked pale and dizzy, and Rose helped her back to her futon.</p><p>"I'll make you some tea."</p><p>Ten minutes later, Rey was sipping the tea and looking a great deal more human, but Rose was pacing the floor.</p><p>"Can I ask you some questions, hon? No judgement, but I think we should check."</p><p>"Check what?"</p><p>"When you slept with this guy, you used condoms, didn't you?"</p><p>Rey blushed. "Well, yes." Then a pause. "I think so."</p><p>"Every time?"</p><p>"Pretty sure … oh …" She set the tea down and put her head in her hands. "Like, we did, each time. I know we did. He's … he was really good about that. But the last time …"</p><p>"He used one?"</p><p>"He did, but … look, this is a bit gross, but we fell asleep right afterwards. I think he was still inside me."</p><p>Rose sat down beside her and took her hand. "And?"</p><p>"And when I woke up I left, and ran home."</p><p>"Yes?"</p><p>"Went to the loo, had a drink of water, went to bed …"</p><p>"Keep going." Rose held her hand tighter.</p><p>"And then woke up with the world's worst hangover, so I hit the loo to throw up and there was something floating in it." Rey shook her head. "I think I know what it was now. I didn't then, but it makes sense."</p><p>"And?"</p><p>"It was the last condom." Rey looked as if she was about to cry. "I think it came off inside me, and then fell out when I went to the loo."</p><p>"But you're on the pill, right?"</p><p>"Absolutely. Take it every day, when the alarm goes off on my phone. It's due to ring in about five minutes. Besides, I had my period last week."</p><p>"I remember – wasn't it incredibly light? Over in just a couple of days?" Rose shook her head. "And didn't you have food poisoning or stomach flu or something like that three weeks ago?"</p><p>There was silence – a shocked, uncomprehending silence for a minute or two – then Rey started crying as Rose held her.</p><p>"It's okay, hon. I'm here. You've got me and Paige. First thing we do, get you tested, then you can work out what your options are. Because there's more than just pregnancy here. If that condom came off, there's STDs as well."</p><p>"What? Where?"</p><p>"If you mean <em>where can I get tested?, </em>there's a reason there's a Planned Pregnancy clinic near the campus. They're open today. We should go down."</p><p>"But I was going to go shopping with you!"</p><p>"Looking after you is far more important." Rose picked up the tea and handed it to Rey. "Let's get you dressed and we'll head down."</p><p>As Rey took a shower, Rose made a quick phone call, and wrote down a list. The items on the left were choices; those on the right, prices. At the top, directions and information lay below a time. Rey came out towelling her hair, and Rose sat on the bed while Rey rummaged for clothing.</p><p>"I'd be better wearing a skirt, yes?"</p><p>"Probably. I called them."</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>"To check they were open and see if you needed an appointment. They said to come in at 11:30, so you've got time for a bite to eat."</p><p>"But shouldn't I be fasting?"</p><p>"Not today." Rose checked her list. "All they'll do is a pregnancy and STD test, check you're healthy, then give you the options. I asked them for … I've got the information. We'll talk it over once you've had something to eat."</p><p>"Eat. Right." Rey grabbed her wallet. "Wait. You seem so … Have you done this before?"</p><p>"Not me." Rose folded the list and slipped it into her pocket. "But someone I know did. Couple of years back. So I know the routine. And besides, you know how I'm always busy on Tuesday mornings?"</p><p>"Your second job?"</p><p>"I don't get paid." Rose picked up her own bag. "I'm a clinic escort."</p><p>"Tell me about it over breakfast. I think I could eat something now."</p><p>They made their way to the little café a block down from the clinic, and Rose ordered a fruit salad for Rey, and some dry toast. To Rey's relief, this lot stayed down, and Rose filled her in.</p><p>"So if you go for an abortion, you need to be there early. And of course the protesters are always there. They'll be there this morning, but it won't be too bad because it's well after when the clients come in." Rose sipped her iced tea. "You'd think they'd realise a person doesn't come for an abortion for the fun of it. Or doesn't wake up one morning and think <em>Oh, yes, Tuesday. I think I'll have an abortion.</em> Women have abortions for lots of different reasons. But the protesters scream, and guilt-trip them, and lie about what happens inside the clinic. Which reminds me – don't look at the pictures they're holding. They're graphic and disgusting, and usually mis-labelled."</p><p>"Beasts." Rey nibbled on a grape. "So what's the information you got?"</p><p>"First of all, they check to see if you actually <em>are</em> pregnant. For all we know, this could genuinely be a tummy bug, or some sort of alien infestation."</p><p>"Thanks. You're saying I slept with some Interplanetary Space Overlord?"</p><p>"At least he was a <em>cute </em>Interplanetary Space Overlord." Rose giggled. "Anyway, if you come up positive, then we can assume what you had a week or so ago was just a breakthrough bleed, and the one you need to know is the date of your last proper period. Do you remember?"</p><p>"Oh god yeah." Rey shook her head. "The day after the Revolution."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"You don't think I, a native-born English woman, would call it <em>Independence Day</em>, do you?"</p><p>"You got citizenship years ago."</p><p>"Yeah, but I still have my values!" The pair cracked up. "Anyway, definitely July 5<sup>th</sup>. Luke was pissed off because he thought I was trying to take an extra-long weekend – the Fourth was Thursday – so I dragged myself in to the bookshop and he had to admit after an hour that I really was in pain. Put me to sleep on the couch in the break room."</p><p>"Right. So your choices will be as follows: keep the baby, put the baby up for adoption, have an abortion, or put the child in fo-<em>mmmph</em>!" Rose's last word was blocked by Rey's hand across her mouth.</p><p>"That is <em>not</em> an option."</p><p>"I had to mention it."</p><p>"Okay. You had to put it on the list, but you can cross it right off." Rey looked out the window beside them, over the park to the campus opposite. "I did not go through years of crap, living with Plutt, scrimp and slave and work my butt off to get to university to put a child into the foster system."</p><p>"Fair." Rose tapped the list. "And for <em>abortion</em>, you've got the choice of medical or surgical."</p><p>"Oh God." Rey dragged her hands down her face. "It's all going to cost, isn't it?"</p><p>"Luckily your insurance should cover you for some of it. But yeah, it's not going to be cheap, and depending on which one you choose, it's going to mean a couple of days off work." Rose slid over the list, and Rey looked down at the charges and items.</p><p>"So more if I'm totally sedated, less because I'm Rh Positive, but the pill thing means three days off work. Right. Time?"</p><p>"Ten to."</p><p>"Let's go. The sooner I confirm things, the sooner I can decide."</p><p>"You know what's the craziest about the protesters?" Rose faced the entrance to the clinic and linked her arm through Rey's so that they were facing the gauntlet together. A phalanx of angry people stood on either side of the carefully-painted access zone lines, waving placards and yelling.</p><p>"No, what?"</p><p>"For all they know, you could be coming in here for a pregnancy check with every intention of having the baby, but they'll still scream at you. As if it's anyone's decision but yours."</p><p>Rey chewed her lip for a moment. "What about Ben?"</p><p>"What about him? If you decide you want to have the baby, then yes, we'll work out how to get in touch with him, but at this stage it is 100% your choice, your decision, your life." Rose hugged her again. "And whatever you choose, you're still my best friend and I still love you."</p><p>"Right then. Let's do this." Rey squared her shoulders and walked forward with Rose, between the people who stayed <em>just</em> on their sides of the lines, yet threw imprecations and epithets and impossible pleas at the two women. The door opened in front of them, and they walked from the heat and the curses into a cool, calm waiting room.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Rey runs into a familiar person.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>On Sunday, Rey negotiated with Luke at the bookshop for the whole of the next weekend off, made easier by his admittance that he was planning to close for the long weekend anyway. The following Sunday was the town founder's birthday, and what with the public holiday and the expected hot summer weather, everyone else would be down at the river for the celebrations and fireworks. Rey had every intention of spending the day in bed with painkillers, tea and something indulgent.</p><p>Monday was spent looking over her options for her last year of study, and trying to concentrate on what she needed. Finally, unable to get her brain to work, she fired off an email to the Head of Engineering, asking for an appointment to discuss things. Professor Organa must have been taking advantage of the lack of lessons too, because ten minutes later Rey had an appointment with her for one hour's time.</p><p>She arrived with five minutes to spare, and waited on the chairs outside the Professor's rooms as patiently as she could. Right now, and for the last three days, her mind was working on two different levels. One was the calm, calculating and rational brain that had got her through to near the end of her engineering course with high marks and a good possibility of a job in the industry and some stability in her life. She could see the years ahead marked with blueprints, hard hats and occasional welding torches. The other was a short span, bracketed by being dumped by her boyfriend four weeks before; a wild encounter with a tall, dark haired man who had made her feel <em>wonderful</em> through her post-breakup hook-up at the <em>Cantina,</em> and dealing with the consequences the next weekend. She would take the clinic up on their offer to implant an IUD while she was there. Pills were just too risky.</p><p>The door beside her opened, and she leapt to her feet as the Professor came out, handing an envelope to someone behind her.</p><p>"Rey! Glad you could make it today. Won't you come in? Ben, I'll see you next Monday." Professor Organa's voice was professional as she moved aside and Rey looked up at an unexpectly familiar face.</p><p>They both stood motionless for a moment until the Professor ushered Rey into her office, closing the door behind her and leaving Ben standing there.</p><p>"Don't mind him." The Professor sat down and opened a folder on her desk.</p><p>"He's a student? I've not seen him on the campus." Rey put her bag on her lap and tried to look innocent as she rummaged out her papers.</p><p>"No, he's my son."</p><p>Rey dropped her bag.</p><p>"I had no idea …" She scrabbled the papers together and put them on the desk.</p><p>"He's been away for a long time. He came back a month or so ago, but had to return to Naboo to pack up his things. But he's not why you wanted to see me today. And please – now that you're nearly finished, you can call me Leia."</p><p>"Right. Um … I've got all the electives sorted, bar one." Rey handed over her transcript. "It's the <em>must take at least a second year subject in a discipline that is not STEM</em> that has me confused. I don't want to take something that won't count, but I have no idea where to start. The only thing that looked half interesting was Professor Solo's <em>Archaeology and Modern Culture</em>, but it clashes with <em>Thermodynamics and Fluid Mechanics</em>."</p><p>Leia looked down the list, and checked them against her computer. "You've excelled in every subject you've taken so far, Rey. You've covered the prerequisites for any of the literature subjects, or even something like sculpture. Do you know why we make our students take these non-engineering subjects?"</p><p>"No idea."</p><p>"Because we need them to graduate with a rounded education, and interests outside making numbers bounce and rocks bang together. I admit that's mainly because we have a large number of hyper-fixated male students who would do nothing but stay in the lab all weekend trying to make a light run up and down a plastic tube, but it works for all our students. So, Rey, what takes your interest?"</p><p>"Books." Rey's response was immediate. "I adore reading, especially when the book is well-bound and has that heft to it. The smell of old leather bindings. That slightly dusty aura … I work in a bookshop and it's wonderful. Except that I want to keep buying all the books and take them home."</p><p>"We have similar problems in our family." Leia grinned. "I think the biggest problem Ben's going to have packing up is fitting all his books in his car, and my brother hoards books like you wouldn't believe. Speaking of not believing, did you know there's a subject here on exactly that?"</p><p>"Hoarding books? I'd be the top student immediately." Rey looked over the summary sheet Leia handed her. "Oh – Book making? So printing, binding, that sort of thing?"</p><p>"Exactly. You learn about the history of books from the earliest tablets to today, and you have to produce a book as part of your final assessment. You don't have to <em>write</em> it – but you have a choice of formats. Maybe apply something in your engineering to the book itself – the binding, or a clasp of some sort. This subject might be what you need."</p><p>"I think it is, thanks." Rey took a deep breath, unaware until that moment exactly how much stress she had been holding onto over just this worry. "So is your son going to be studying here?"</p><p>"He finished his degree last year. No, he's trying to work out what he wants to do next. He was an intern to a rather nasty piece of work, and it took months but he managed to get away from all that. Making a fresh start." Leia stared down at her hands, which she had folded on the desk. "He's made some mistakes, but I think he's going to be all right. I hope so. It's not easy being a mother, Rey."</p><p>"I can imagine." <em>And I don't want to find out just yet. Later, perhaps, but not yet.</em> "Thank you, Leia. When do you need me to enrol in that subject?"</p><p>"By Friday, please. And let me know if you have any problems." Leia stood to indicate that the interview was over, and Rey let herself out the door, hoping that perhaps Ben had waited for her.</p><p>The corridor was empty.</p><p>Tuesdays in the <em>Dagobar</em> bookshop were often quiet, but this Tuesday was more so than usual. Luke had Rey clean out the back of the storeroom, particularly any boxes that looked as if they might not have been opened in twenty years, and by lunchtime she was hot and dusty and very glad Rose had insisted on giving her a box of herbal teas and a loaf of wholemeal bread on Saturday. At least now she was keeping some food down in the morning. Rey scowled at the last box, one that was slightly water stained and looked at least as old as she was, when the bell over the shop's door rang.</p><p>"Hello?" A deep male voice.</p><p>Bother. Luke must have gone out for lunch early. Rey vaguely remembered hearing him yell something, but she'd been arms-deep in second-hand copies of <em>50 Shades of Grey</em> and <em>The Da Vinci Code</em> at the time, and hadn't thought to respond.</p><p>She dusted her hands off and walked out of the storeroom to the counter, trying to blink the dust out of her eyes.</p><p>"Rey."</p><p>"Hang on a second." She grabbed a tissue from under the counter, wet it from her bottle, and wiped her eyes. "Right – oh! Ben!"</p><p>"You said you worked in a bookshop. I just didn't realise it was this one." He was there, in front of her, looking as gorgeous as he had the previous day and three weeks before. So that night hadn't just been the alcohol.</p><p>"I … yes. This one. For over a year." She looked around the old wooden bookshelves piled high with old hardbacks, early-edition textbooks and classical children's literature of dubious current validity. "What are you doing here?"</p><p>"I've got a message for Luke. Is he in today?"</p><p>At that, the doorbell rang and Luke walked back in. He scowled at Ben, who wordlessly handed over an envelope, then glared at Rey.</p><p>"Go and get some lunch."</p><p>"Right." Rey reached around the storeroom door for her bag. "You've got at least a hundred paperbacks there that are never going to sell. Do we dump them, or make a fort?"</p><p>"Out." Something must have riled the old man. Rey headed outside, followed by Ben.</p><p>"Would you like to get lunch? I mean, I'll buy you lunch, if you'd like."</p><p>She was starving, and funds were tight. Even with the insurance from the shop, she had to get $300 by Saturday for the surgical abortion if she wanted to have the extra sedation. Although she had no intention of asking Ben for the money. But him buying lunch? "Yes. Yes, that would be lovely."</p><p>They hit the strange little restaurant around the corner, weaving their way through the labyrinthian corridor to the entrance then ducking under the palm fronds and peering at the layout. It looked like someone's grandmother's antique shop had provided all the furniture and décor, and each table was named by its guardian statue rather than numbered. The owner escorted them to the <em>Falcon </em>table and left them with the menus.</p><p>"Ever been here before?" Rey looked down the menu as Ben's gaze wandered around.</p><p>"No. I feel like I should be being served by house elves or Icelandic trolls."</p><p>"It's a bit like that. I've always loved it, and it's not expensive or anything, in case you're worried."  They ordered, and she looked him up and down.</p><p>"No, no, it's not that. I just … I've never felt so at home in a restaurant before." He brought his gaze back to her. "But you. How are you?"</p><p>"Fine."</p><p>"You look tired."</p><p>"That storeroom was horridly stuffy and warm." Rey took a long drink of water. "And you do <em>not</em> want to know some of the books I found there."</p><p>"Surely not <em>Little Black Sambo</em>?"</p><p>"That book is about a very brave boy in India, standing up to tigers. I just wish the name hadn't been taken over by creeps ever since." Rey crossed her arms. "But it pains me to see so many books so cheaply printed. They just don't survive being read, being loved …"</p><p>"I know. I adore my books as well. I have to organise a truck to bring mine back from Naboo."</p><p>"Yeah, your mother said." Shaking her head, Rey reached for the breadsticks. "I thought you told me you were a student here. But you're <em>going</em> to be. That explains why all your bookshelves were empty. I couldn't understand why someone would rent an apartment with bookshelves if you weren't going to use them."</p><p>"Um … yeah … about the other night." Ben looked awkward. "Why did you leave? I would have made you breakfast."</p><p>"Oh." Rey blushed. "I … wasn't sure. I've never done that before. I was … I panicked." She looked away, and jumped when she felt his hand on hers.</p><p>"Gone home with someone you've just met and shagged like bunnies?"</p><p>"Yeah." She laughed, and looked back at him, squeezing his hand. "You were my first ever one-night-stand. I'm sorry. I'd do things differently if I had the chance."</p><p>"Would you like to?"</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Have the chance. To do it again."</p><p>"What? Shag like bunnies?"</p><p>"If you want."</p><p>She thought for a moment. "Are you asking me out? Or for a hookup? Or …"</p><p>"I'd like to see more of you than just one night. And lunch. And running into you in the corridor outside my mother's office." Their food arrived, and Ben started in. "It's probably a good thing we already know we're compatible in one area, but I'd like to know you better. I just couldn't get in touch."</p><p>"I'm sorry. I'm really bad at making sensible decisions, and the amount I had to drink that night … I'm surprised I managed to get home in one piece, to be honest." Rey took a mouthful of the pasta, and moaned. "Oh but that is good. I'm starving."</p><p>"Then eat up." Ben laughed. "Sorry, that's my Italian grandmother coming through. She always piles on the food. It's a surprise none of us ended up like balloons, not that there would be anything wrong with that."</p><p>"She sounds lovely."</p><p>"She is. I want to be a grandfather, so I can spoil the grandkids rotten." Ben applied himself to his own plate, but Rey felt her stomach drop. <em>Grandfather. He wants kids. And grandkids. I can't tell him. He'd want me to have it.</em> She made herself eat the rest of the food, but now it tasted like gravel, and she was glad to see that her lunch hour was almost gone and she needed to get back to the shop.</p><p>"No dessert?"</p><p>"Not today, no." Rey stood and picked up her bag. "Ben, I have to go. And I <em>would</em> like to see more of you."</p><p>He stood as well, and hugged her, apparently not realising she was only responding half-heartedly. "Would you like me to walk you back to Uncle Luke's?"</p><p>"Your uncle? But of course – your mother mentioned he hoarded books. I just didn't realise." She shook her head. "You finish your lunch."</p><p>He pulled a pen out and scribbled a number on a piece of paper. "Call me. We can go out on Friday night."</p><p>"I have a gig on Friday."</p><p>"At the <em>Cantina</em>?" He grinned. "I'll take you out to supper afterwards."</p><p>"Nothing too late. I have an appointment on Saturday." <em>And I'm not allowed to eat after midnight, according to the clinic.</em></p><p>"Deal. What time do you start?"</p><p>"Nine." She took the paper, then, on an impulse, kissed his cheek. "Thank you for lunch. It was lovely. I'll see you then."</p><p>"See you, Rey." He stayed standing as she walked out, she knew, because she looked back from the door and waved and he waved back.</p><p>Then she headed out into the sunshine and reality.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Rey's last couple of days before the procedure, and an eventful night at the club where a familiar face turns up.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Wednesday morning, Rose brought Rey some more easily digestible breakfast, changing to easily-thrown-up when Rey proved to have great problems keeping things down.</p><p>Rey arrived at the shop to find a hot tea and pastry waiting for her, courtesy of Luke who was shame-faced but wouldn't tell her why he'd been so grumpy the day before. He spent most of the day in the office, leaving her to manage in the shop by distracting herself, and it wasn't until just before she left that he yelled at her for making a full archway over the front entrance with the innumerable copies of <em>50 Shades</em> and <em>Da Vinci Code</em>.</p><p>"You don't expect to sell them, surely!"</p><p>"But they're <em>books</em>! You should respect them!"</p><p>"Oh come on, Luke. No-one's going to buy them. These were probably thrown out of some thrift shop downtown and they dumped them here as a joke."</p><p>"It's not a joking matter." Luke scowled at the creation, and pushed it hard.</p><p>It didn't move.</p><p>"You're getting a bad attitude about books, Rey. It's obvious my nephew's terrible influence has rubbed off onto you." He retreated to the cash register, and pressed the end-of-day tally commands. "Next you'll be telling me you've thrown a book out."</p><p>"I've done worse than that. I took an <em>axe</em> to one once!"</p><p>"OUT!"</p><p>She laughed as she skipped away, glad she had the next five days off. Thursday and Friday were her normal weekend, and then she didn't have to come back to the shop until the next Tuesday. She wasn't going to tell Luke that the book was by Barbara Cartland, and she'd been so horrified by the waste of a good prompt and the lukewarm concept of the whole book that she'd had to pay full price for, that she chopped it up and kept one of the chunks blu-tacked to her bookcase as a warning to all the others.</p><p>Thursday she spent at home, cleaning and cooking so that she could collapse on Saturday afternoon and not have to think about anything. A pile of tins of chicken soup stood beside her hotplate, her tiny fridge held chilled ravioli and sauce and juice, and there was a small stack of over-the-counter painkillers beside the sink. The bathroom cupboard held three large boxes of sanitary pads. Rose had promised to check on her a few times too. When she finally finished in the afternoon, she still had an urge, an itch to do something, make something, create …</p><p>Write.</p><p>There were feelings here, and her feelings were safest thrown into a song. She sat at her table, notepad and manuscript book at hand, and her guitar resting against the chair. Her electric keyboard sat behind the paper, and she reached over occasionally to hit a chord, an arpeggio, the progression that ended up leading to notes that soared through the darkening of evening and around her heart. When she wrote the final line, she had to wipe her tears from the page. Not tears of sorrow – tears of frustration for having to justify herself, make it clear she was making decisions for <em>her</em> life.</p><p>
  <em>I'm me. I'm allowed to be me. No-one else gets to decide that for me ever again.</em>
</p><p>Packing up the instruments and putting the notepad and sheet of manuscript in the guitar case, she heated up a tin of soup and had an early night. Between her body and her mind, she was overwrought and trembling.</p><p>By Friday night, Rey was far more composed. She had an early tea with Rose and Paige, suspicious that their usual simple omelette was this time a small feast of <em>bún bò Huế</em> made entirely at home. She slurped up the thick noodles and grinned.</p><p>"I thought you needed cheering up." Paige, Rose's older sister, pointed over to their kitchen bench. "I made <em>mango chè</em> for dessert."</p><p>"Found family is definitely the best." Rey poked around the broth, scooping up chunks of pork and scallions. "This is amazing."</p><p>Rose reached over the small dining table and squeezed Rey's hand. "I'll be coming to tonight's show, too. If you want."</p><p>"Oh. Hell. I didn't tell you."</p><p>"No show?"</p><p>"No, not that. Ben was going to meet me there, but I forgot to ring him."</p><p>"You saw him again?"</p><p>"Yeah. He took me to lunch on Tuesday."</p><p>"And you forgot to fill us in on <em>all the gossip</em> and then you forget to ring him too?" Rose laughed. "So spill."</p><p>Ten minutes later, both Rose and Paige were on the couch, trying to hold their stomachs while laughing, and Rey was wondering if she could make it to the <em>mango chè </em>without them noticing.</p><p>"And all that time, you could have met him?"</p><p>"Rose, do you want me to leave you any dessert or not?"</p><p>"After that confession, I don't think you deserve any. Split it three ways though – we're just got time to bolt it down before we leave."</p><p>The two friends walked to the <em>Cantina</em> together, leaving Paige with her preferred Friday night of a new book. Rose sighed at the late-summer humidity, and held Rey's hand as they sauntered along.</p><p>"I'll be at your door at seven tomorrow."</p><p>"But I'm not due at the clinic until eight."</p><p>"Yeah, but I think you'll need the support." Rose squeezed Rey's hand. "I'm not being an escort tomorrow, but I've been one often enough to know that having someone with you on that walk through the gauntlet is a huge help."</p><p>"I hope you don't have to do this yourself, hon, but I'll be there for you if you ever do." Rey squeezed back, and they turned into the bar and headed for the performance space. It was half-full – the show wasn't until nine and it was only eight-thirty. Rose settled into her regular table at the side of the front, and Rey hit the bathroom before setting up.</p><p>Her face was pale, and for the first time in ages she rummaged in her bag for lipstick and tried to put some colour back on. The eyes that stared back at her were large, anxious and tired.</p><p>"After tomorrow, things will be back to normal. This is my life, and I'm the one to live it." She blew a kiss to her reflection and headed for the stage.</p><p>The set was going well, with more applause than she was used to so late in the vacation break, and Rey was floating on that high that you get being on a stage with people appreciating you. She hadn't been sure of the last song for the night. Normally she ended on something upbeat, but tonight she wanted honest.</p><p>"Thanks for listening, everyone. Things have been a bit crazy lately, so I did what I do so often. Not <em>make bad decisions</em>, although I've excelled at that too. No, I've channelled what's happening into a song. This will be the first time I've played it, so you're the first people to hear it, and I hope it says to you what it's saying to me."</p><p>She sat on the stool with her guitar, and set the lyrics on the stand in front of her. Checking the E string that always tried to come loose, she took a deep breath and started.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I make all the bad decisions,<br/>And then live with their results,<br/>But worst of all, I make them on my own.<br/>For once I should be sharing, because<br/>I know you'd be caring,<br/>So why am I still doing this alone?<br/><br/>We brought it on together,<br/>When our bodies met and fused,<br/>Both responsible, and both consenting full.<br/>So why can't I now tell you<br/>Even though it's my decision,<br/>And I know you couldn't change my mind at all.<br/><br/>But I have my own life to live<br/>And dreams I couldn't do without.<br/>It took too long for me to find my way,<br/>I don't want you to lead me,<br/>Or follow where I go.<br/>Just walk beside me, stay with me today.<br/><br/></em>
</p><p>The room was silent when she finished. For a beat, two, she stayed looking down at her hands on the strings, wondering if she'd gone too far, but then there was whistling and cheering and loud clapping, and she looked up to see the room on their feet and applauding her. Rose was standing too, clapping and crying at once.</p><p>And then she spotted the face at the back of the room.</p><p>And rolled her eyes.</p><p>Quickly packing the guitar away and shutting the piano lid, she jumped off the stage and over to Rose, hugging her.</p><p>"What's wrong?"</p><p>"'E's here. At the back. And he's brought some girl. How dare he?"</p><p>Rose looked over her shoulder and Rey turned, knowing what she'd see.</p><p>He loomed over her as he always did, using his height difference to try and make her feel insignificant. But she knew better now.</p><p>"Hello."</p><p>"Rey. Can we talk?"</p><p>"Sure. Go ahead."</p><p>"Not here."</p><p>"Well, it's not like I have a dressing room or anything." Rey folded her arms and scowled.</p><p>"Out this door, then."</p><p>"Fine, Enric. But I don't think there's anything you have to say that I need to hear."</p><p>They walked through the door into the greasy, dim alley. For once there were no furtive smokers or passionate college students rutting against the bar's dumpster. Rey walked to the middle of the alley so as not to give Enric a chance to trap her against one of the walls, and turned.</p><p>"So. Talk."</p><p>"You were wonderful tonight."</p><p>"You could have said that inside."</p><p>"Fine." He paused, then coughed. "I think we should get back together."</p><p>"I thought you were going to move in with Bazine."</p><p>"She … I didn't think she was the right one for me. But you were." He looked uneasy, and Rey decided to go for the kill.</p><p>"And yet you were here tonight with … was that Kaydel Connix? The first year you had me tutor because she didn't understand the subtle themes in <em>Lolita</em>? What about her?" Supressing a snicker, Rey pressed on. "I would have thought you had a whole class in <em>Advanced American Literature</em> to work your way through before you thought I was worth coming back to. After all, didn't you drop <em>m</em>e because I couldn't see the beauty in the overwrought pretentious sludge that is Reeder Stephenson's work? That you constantly described as <em>full of imagination, vivid characterizations, and fast pacing? </em>The guy wrote as if he'd blended a thesaurus and a full set of 1980s Penthouse magazines and just regurgitated the lot!"</p><p>"You had no feel for his inferred and inspired metaphors!" The older man looked as if he had been slapped. "Although by tonight's offering, you've been keeping yourself busy."</p><p>"And what's that supposed to mean?"</p><p>"Well you weren't exactly subtle, were you? How long did it take you?" He was almost spitting by now, and she was beginning to regret having come out to the alley.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"How long before you were shagging the first man who would fall for your wiles, getting yourself knocked up by him? Did you trap him? Fool him into offering to marry you?" Enric had her backing up until a low <em>clang</em> told her she'd reached the dumpster, but it didn't stop him. "Four weeks. <em>Four weeks</em> since we parted, and you're up the duff already. I thought you were a slut, and I was right."</p><p>Rey felt the fury bubble up inside her, giving her power she never knew she had. "You know, Enric, I'm <em>glad</em> you dumped me. Not the way you did it. I should have walked out on you <em>months</em> ago, while you were still complaining about your wife, and saying you would leave her. I should have believed you then, and realised you would walk out on me, on Bazine, you'll probably do it to Kaydell … You just want to keep upgrading to a newer, younger model and you can't even keep the ones you <em>do</em> get. I wouldn't be surprised if your wife left <em>you</em>, instead of the other way around."</p><p>She poked a finger into his chest as she continued. "And no, I don't want to get back with you. I wouldn't want to ever be with such a selfish, inconsiderate, self-centred <em>git</em> who doesn't want a partner in life – you only want a trophy! You only think of yourself and your own needs, <em>especially </em>in bed. Well, you can think again. I might be pregnant, but I can make decisions for myself, so after tomorrow I won't be. And for your information, I <em>didn't</em> trap him. He's lovely, and kind and supportive, and he cares about <em>me</em>. Not how good I can make him look, or what I can do for him." She felt herself choking up, and struggled to get the next part out. "And if I can just stop being an idiot for five minutes, I might be able to tell him that. But you, you piece of shit …"</p><p>He'd started backing away from her as she spoke, and by the end of her diatribe, Enric Pryde had his own back against the alley wall and was looking from side to side for a way to escape. But Rey wasn't finished yet.</p><p>"Your offer has been noted, and the answer is <em>no</em>." She dropped her hand and turned away from him to walk back into the club, but he grabbed her arm and swung her around.</p><p>Only to find his own forearm enclosed in a very large hand.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Many thanks to <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazyjane">CrazyJane13</a> for the literary inspiration.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>An ending, a circle, a closure, an opening, a beginning.</p><p>And Rose is still awesome.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"The lady said <em>no</em>, Enric. Very eloquently, I think."</p><p>"What do you want, Ben Solo?"</p><p>"To escort my girlfriend back inside." Ben dropped the older man's arm, and turned to Rey. "If you would like to, that is."</p><p>"I would, very much so." Rey and Ben put their arms around each other's waists and they walked back through the door together, shutting it firmly behind them and locking Enric outside. They were back to Rose before Rey heard a muffled <em>thud</em> from the emergency exit, and she decided that she really didn't need to take any more notice of noise from that source ever again.</p><p>Rose looked from Rey to Ben, and back again. "So you found her all right?"</p><p>"Yeah." Ben looked a little uncomfortable, and Rey wondered if the arm around her was just for show, but he pulled her tighter to him and looked around. "Actually, Rey, I'm almost sorry we can't go back outside. Is there somewhere we can talk?"</p><p>Rey was about to answer when she caught sight of Rose's face. When Ben was turned away, Rose mouthed <em>Do you want me to stay?</em></p><p>Rey nodded, then spoke to Ben. "Back of the stage."</p><p>Guiding him up the rickety stairs at the side, she took him to the back of the tiny performance space where her chair and an old wicker hamper lay. She guessed the hamper wouldn't hold him, so sat on it herself and put the chair opposite.</p><p>To look at him.</p><p>But she couldn't. Not at first.</p><p>"Rey?" He was on the chair, his knees against hers and her hands dwarfed inside his. "Is it true?"</p><p>She took a deep breath. "Yes. I'm pregnant. That night … Anyway, I'm booked into the clinic tomorrow." Then, bracing herself, she held the next breath until she could hear what he said. Would he try to dissuade her? Deny it? What would he …</p><p>"No, not that."  His caring tone almost had her in tears, and she heard the next words as if in a dream. "<em>Walk beside me? </em>You meant that about me?"</p><p>She looked up at him, and her breath came out in a long, deep sigh that took with it so many of the troubles she had held onto for so long. For all of her life, as far back as she could remember, she could not think of a time that <em>anyone</em> had looked at her with such tenderness, as if she were something wonderful and precious and worth looking for and finding.</p><p>"I've never had anyone write a song about me before. No. Wait. The song was about you, Rey, but you were talking to me in it. It was beautiful." He reached out and cupped her cheek. "You really are amazing, you know."</p><p>Looking at him, she felt as if he were reading her soul through the back of her eyes. "You're … not upset?"</p><p>"About you being pregnant? No. Only sorry that I got you into that state. I didn't realise – the condom came off, didn't it?"</p><p>"Yeah. And then I was sick and my pills failed."</p><p>"Why didn't you tell me? I mean, apart from in the song?"</p><p>"Well, the other day when we had lunch, I was all set to, but you said you wanted grandchildren, and I …"</p><p>"One day! Eventually – I don't want to start a family right away." He laughed, leaned forward and kissed her. "Look, this is totally your decision, and I heard what you said in the song. but I do have to ask." Now he looked uneasy, but resolute. "I learned from bitter experience that you can't just make assumptions, so please don't be offended, but I need to know. If it's just the money, or help, if that's why you had to choose, if I offered support – would you want to have the baby?"</p><p>She squeezed his hand. "No. No, it's not those. It's … it's taken me years to get here. To uni. A degree. A chance at a proper life. I was dumped by my parents at a fire station when I was three, and spent years in the foster system in some pretty terrible homes. I didn't want to end up just scraping my way through life like some of the other kids I knew. I need to make my own life, have a chance to be me before I'm responsible for another person. So thank you. You <em>did</em> need to ask, and I do appreciate you doing that, but that's not why I'm having the abortion."</p><p>"Then let me help."</p><p>"What? Turning up at my place tomorrow with a wire coathanger?" She watched as the expressions flitted across Ben's face – horror, realisation and then cracking up laughing.</p><p>"Mom would kill me if I took one from her wardrobe." He poked her, and she grinned. "It can't be cheap, and I doubt if your insurance covers all of it. At the very least, it <em>is</em> a shared responsibility. I'll pay half, and take you there myself."</p><p>"That has got to be the weirdest date I've ever been asked on in my life." Rey kissed him back. <em>I wasn't going to ask him, but him offering is different. </em>"Yes. I accept. Thank you. That does make it all a bit easier."</p><p>"Are you still up for supper tonight?"</p><p>"Definitely. No food after midnight though."</p><p>"Or you turn into a gremlin?"</p><p>Rey laughed. "Wouldn't you like to know?"</p><p>"I'd like to try it another time."</p><p>They walked off the stage and back to Rose, who was standing ready to go.</p><p>"I was about to head off myself and get some sleep. I take it you two are going out?"</p><p>"Yeah." Ben had his arm back around Rey, and she was leaning into him. "Thanks for sending me out there, Rose. You were right."</p><p>"She usually is." Rey let go of him and hugged Rose. "And, um … you don't need to take me tomorrow morning."</p><p>"What?" Rose's face darkened. "He didn't change your mind, did he?"</p><p>"No, it's not that." Rey shook her head at the fury that had enveloped her friend. "Ben's going to go with me to the clinic himself. He's … " She looked up at the tall man beside her. "He wants to be there for me."</p><p>"I'm coming anyway." Rose bounced from wrath to resolute in an instant. "It's not often I get to walk through the antis as a friend rather than an escort. It'll be better with both of us there. Sorry, Ben. Didn't mean to jump to conclusions."</p><p>"It was understandable." Ben grinned. "But remind me never to get on your wrong side."</p><p>"You'd better believe it, Solo." Rose picked up her bag, hugged Rey again and walked out.</p><p>Thirty minutes later at a nearby café, Rey put her fork down, and leaned back. "So what did you mean by <em>Rose was right</em>?"</p><p>"You know when you finished your song? I was right at the back, and you glanced at me then rolled your eyes. I thought you were angry at me for turning up." He took her hand and started running his thumb over the back of it. "Then I saw Enric stalking up to you, and you looked as if you had smelled something bad. I realised you hadn't seen me at all. So when you two headed outside, I went to Rose and asked if I should talk to you."</p><p>"And what did she say?"</p><p>"That you'd probably be pleased to see me. And I think you were."</p><p>"I was. Yes. Thank you." Rey looked down at her hand, wondering how it could feel so comfortable in his. "I mean, I probably could have got out of that, but your assistance was timely."</p><p>"I should get you home. You need <em>some</em> sleep before tomorrow." He paid the bill, then helped her into her cardigan. "Look, I need you to know. At any time, if you don't want me around, if I'm being too forward and insistent, just tell me."</p><p>She took his lapels, pulled him down to her, and kissed him. "I want you with me tomorrow; I want to see you again afterwards; and in two weeks, I want to shag like bunnies." She kissed him again. "Cool?"</p><p>"Cool." He kissed her back, then took her hand and they headed into the warm night.</p><p> </p><p>----------------- o 0 o -----------------</p><p> </p><p>At seven, Rey opened her door to find Ben there holding a bunch of daisies followed immediately by Rose. Rey put the flowers in a water jug, then the three started on the walk to the clinic. The morning was cool and fresh, with dew on the grass and a few scudding clouds across the just-risen sun, and none of them spoke until they were halfway across the park.</p><p>"Do you want me to take you back to your place afterwards, or would you prefer to come to mine?" Ben sounded nervous, but Rey was glad he had asked.</p><p>"Your place, please. I want to check out your books."</p><p>"Weirdos." Rose laughed.</p><p>"Well, I'll have about three hours between when I leave you at the clinic and when you come out. I could go pack you a bag of stuff and bring it back over." Ben ran his hand through his hair. "If Rose could come down and help me."</p><p>Rey's heart swelled with something she couldn't explain, and she felt like crying. "Thanks." They walked in silence a bit longer, then she spoke again.</p><p>"Ben?"</p><p>"Hmm?"</p><p>"What did you do to Luke that has him yelling at you like that?"</p><p>He laughed. "Oh you do not want to know."</p><p>"Oh yes we do!" Rose raised her eyebrows.</p><p>"Right. So you know he's fanatical about books. Reveres them, adores them, almost worships them?"</p><p>"I've noticed." Rey winced, hoping the archway hadn't fallen yet.</p><p>"I was twelve, and a Lego devotee. And he had a book all about the history of the company." Ben took Rey's hand and swung her arm. "I found it, and took it to my treehouse to read it. Not a problem, until he came out and yelled at me." He laughed. "Scared me so much that I dropped it. It landed in the fishpond. I didn't realise it was a special edition printed for people in the company. There's only twenty-seven extant copies, and one now is warped and stained and worth a tenth of its original price."</p><p>Rey punched him with her other hand. "You inhuman <em>brute</em>."</p><p>"Oh I don't know," replied Rose. "Could have been worse. Like what if it was the complete guide to the <em>Chronicles of Thomas the Coven Keeper</em>?"</p><p>"Ewww." They were laughing now as they approached the clinic, their good humour deflecting the worst of the yelled insults and the comments from the protesters lined up outside. Several other escorts, recognising Rose, formed a protective grid around the three, and got them into the clinic, where Rose hugged Rey.</p><p>"You right from here, hon?"</p><p>"I'm fine. Thank you." Rey kissed Rose. "You really are amazing."</p><p>"And you, tallboy." Rose looked up at Ben, and although it felt to Rey that Ben was twice her friend's height, she knew Rose had the upper hand.</p><p>"Yes, ma'am?"</p><p>"You look after her or you've got <em>me</em> to deal with."</p><p>"Yes, ma'am!" Ben leaned down and kissed Rose's cheek.</p><p>Rey and Ben sat on the cold plastic chairs as she filled out the form. Then she sighed and leaned into him.</p><p>"Do you think, perhaps, Ben, that for our next date we might try something a bit more conventional?"</p><p>"I was thinking a guided tour of the morgue. What did you have in mind?"  He grinned, and she poked him with the blunt end of the pen.</p><p>"Sounds lovely. Let's do that for Hallowe'en." She doodled on the corner of the form. "For my last non-engineering subject, I've enrolled in a unit in bookmaking. I think I'll use my engineering to make it a pop-up book. They're pretty cool."</p><p>"That would be amazing." Ben leaned over and kissed her nose as a nurse called out Rey's name.</p><p>"I'll see you here in about three hours." She picked up her small bag, and headed inside.</p><p> </p><p>----------------- o 0 o -----------------</p><p> </p><p>Four hours later, slightly sore, still dizzy from the sedative, and greatly relieved, Rey clutched the hot water bottle to her stomach as Ben put a cup of tea beside her.</p><p>"Time for more painkillers?" He moved the bottle of pills aside.</p><p>"Another hour."</p><p>"How's the cramping?"</p><p>"I've had worse." She snuggled into him, and relaxed as his arms wrapped around her.</p><p>"Want to watch a movie?"</p><p>"I'll fall asleep."</p><p>"Nothing wrong with that." He held her tight, and her eyes closed as she relaxed and let herself feel safe.</p><p>----------------- o 0 o -----------------</p><p>
  <em>Two years later.</em>
</p><p>"You know I don't deal with new books." Luke scowled at Rey before he sipped from the champagne glass he was holding.</p><p>"You deal with <em>special</em> books, Luke. You can cope with this one. <em>Shhh.</em> Leia's about to give her speech." Rey smoothed down her skirt, then smiled as a large arm wrapped around her waist. She looked up into Ben's eyes and grinned as he leaned down to whisper directly in her ear.</p><p>"I am so proud of you."</p><p>"<em>Shhh</em>. Your mother."</p><p>Leia stepped to the front of the bookshop, barely visible over the heads of the large crowd packed in there on a warm June evening.  "Friends, it is with great pleasure that I am here to present to you a magnificent book, written and created by an amazing woman whom I am lucky enough to mentor. Rey is a qualified engineer, but her application of engineering principles in crafting of an interactive book such as this, is at a level rarely seen in the genre. The models, tactile, kinetic, will interest students at many levels, and perhaps draw young people into the wonderful world of practical hands-on  ..."</p><p>As Rey mingled with the crowd afterwards, signing copies of her book and accepting the plaudits, she was acutely aware of Ben beside her, Rose and Paige admiring the final product of the work she had bored then with over the last year, and her own satisfaction at walking the road she wanted.</p><p>"I never asked you, Rey. Was that time in my office the first time you'd met Ben? When he was in the process of moving back to town?" Leia's question sounded casual, but Rey thought there might be more behind it. After all, Leia had been quite surprised when Ben had insisted that his first dinner back at the family home included her prize student.</p><p>Rey smiled while she madly tried to think of a way to answer without giving too much away, but Ben spoke before she could reply.</p><p>"I heard her singing a few weeks before, and couldn't get her out of my head." He pulled her close to him, and she relaxed into his body. "But we didn't really connect until I ran into her here, at the bookshop, when you had me deliver a note to Luke. And then I heard her perform again a few days later, and, well, you're right."</p><p>"I am?" Leia's eyebrows rose.</p><p>"She's amazing."</p><p>Rey felt herself blushing, that praise of all she had received tonight wrapping itself around her heart.</p><p>"And Rey? You're making a name for yourself in engineering education, you've published your first book, and you have your first album coming out next month. What else do you have planned for your life?" Leia asked.</p><p>"From here?" Rey held Ben's hand as she answered from the depths of her heart. "Anything I want. Because I can."</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Ben's gallows humour is pretty warped, but in those situations, sometimes you just say what comes to mind. And thank goodness there's no need for that sort of terrible option any more.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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